There was a time when I would never leave my baby
not now not ever not a maybe
there was things that i never had to think about
or a time when i did not have to sit and pout

if you are reading this, this is my life
this is wut I have to live with, all this strife
now maybe I was meant to lead a life without desire
maybe i was never made to have an empire

everyone controls there destiny and i made a fatal mistake
and fell out of place
i feel like i'm lost from my friends and peers
and that how it all started i mean the cuts and tears

i didn't want it to be this way
one time in my life i was on top of the world i would go out and play
i had no worries at all
but soon that dream would be over and soon i would fall

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There she was as I gazed into her eyez
Just standing there and left me hypnotized
I’m sorry to stare is what I say
But can I get you name if I may

I got her name and a number
We talked all to long is what I remember
Its so nice to meet someone to talk to at night
To give you new thoughts and new insight

And new way of life a new view on love
But soon things would come to an end and we would push and shove
Now never thinking that things would be this way
I didn’t know what to do or even say

So I confided in friends near and far
But it never seemed to help so I just stared at the stars
Hoping they would tell me something and give me good news
Instead all it did is turn my sky dark blue

As the days grew longer my skies turned gray
And that’s when I finally started to pray
I should have done that first instead of trying things on my own
And go get drunk and really stoned

It hurt to do it, but it got me away
So that’s where I always wanted to stay
In this place where my pain did not exists
And I lived in heavenly bliss

But I knew that the high would only last so long and I would be on earth again
And I knew that everything that I did was a deadly fucking sin
But I had to much to handle and no one there
Or at least that’s what I thought that just no one cared

To die alone is my biggest fear
And that’s why I only shed one tear
To have a heart and know to share with
Or no one by your side to just hug and kiss

Why is this world so sick and cruel
Or am I the only fool
One day I will be live life with a new light
And that day I will see things with new sight .


i would fall from the clouds and land on earth
and soon something new would give birth
and that would be the hatred for life
and it would cut my heart like a knife

so i will end this poem with a good note
when your on top of the world don't glote
just live for today and forget about tomorrow
and then you will have no more sorrow

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Is this world really worth living in
or should everyone just start to sin
I lay my head down night after night
and hope that god will take me on his heavenly flight

to heaven is where i would rather be
up so high were i could be free
this world of fear and hate
where i have to go to my room and just contemplate

where all you can see is blood from your eyez
and everyone you see, you just depise
this is world that everyone lives in
and this is why I must sin

cause the people around make me sick
and I just want to beat each one of them with a stick
i want to stab them in the back or just shoot them in the head
i get so frustated and i even want to bled

its sux this all these thoughts go though my mind
and its seems like nothing can halp not even time
i'm sadened by this life that i must live
and how i can never recieve but just give, give, give

so this world that was build on lies and blood
i have to be here and i don't want to be
so i will stay here and live intill the end of my dayz
and sit at the stars and just gaze and gaze